So I've recently been chastised because of my total lack of updating this blog?
Why?
'Cause I've been fucking too damned much!
Actually not really, but I recently had some of the best non-sex of my life.
Non-sex you say?

Yes. Non-sex, that evil little thing that we did otherwise known as dry hopping. No
far past the cherry popping virgin days when that was the only option people
either hump or they don't or do they?

Now that I've decided that I want to be in a relationship , dry humping is back
and Speculative Dick is its King.Speculative Dick is cute, smart, talented and
geeezus I'm losing my cool...I can't stop thinking about him.

cool. stay cool. ice cold

Why stress ? its just that I like him right?
WRONG
I'm dating like 5 other guys right now, you think they'd keep me busy no?
not when there's one you actually really like.

Here they are . A list of the guys I've dated in the past six monthsand you tell me if they're worth it


Assistant Dick

You were the first guy that I dated after my massive break up with J. One day I'll be able to revisit it and tell you guys in detail how he trampled my heart and ruined my ability to trust people. We walked from Washington Heights
to brooklyn, just taking pictures and talking. We met in the darkroom and I was the Teaching Assistant to your photo class.
Eventually you started assisting me on shoots and I thought you were so cute but I have way to much integrity to go there, but
wait, you 're not my student AND you're older than me (by two years).

the first time I finally saw your place and after a year and a half of flirting we finally kissed and it was bad but the sex
is some of the best I've had in a long time. Too bad that after a week of dating you freaked out and stopped talking to me.
I thought we were better than that. You have major intimacy issues and thats a fact, however for 5'6 you're really really strong.
That time we did it on the roof of your job was amazing. You still call me once in a while for photo advice and sometimes late night calls for other things....

totally worth it...

Socialist Dick

First guy i met from OKC that I started actually dating. I showed up to our first date an hour late and you almost left. I felt terrible but looked awesome. We dryhumped and made out like bandits for three weeks. I felt you up and found
quite underwhelming in the size dept but decided to stay anyway because you seemed like a sweet genuine guy. We finally finally had sex and it was decent. I hate to say it seemed like the only reason that you were such an attentive lover was because you were compensating for have a small dick; however he was adamantly soo anti-obama and right around election time, I couldn’t deal with that plus he was a socialist. Not a big deal right? My politics are left-wing progressive, however I never knew that the socialist party was a cult.

Generally I’m very wary of any time of organized religon or any type of group think. When people ask me my politics I say that I lean left and towards the truth. I’m deeply analytical by nature and am a truly independent thinker. I also came from a family of activists. That being said he was from the midwest from a right wing evagelical family. Being a socialist was his fuck you to them. Good for him but still wayyyyy to politically naïve for my tastes. We agreed on most things but he kept starting fights with me that were unnecessary. AND he had a tiny dick? No. Had to drop that.

CHINA DICK

I met him on the train. “No one on the corner has swagger like him” He looked like a member of the chinese gymnastics team. Generally I don’t talk to guys on the train but a) I couldn’t stop staring at him b) His approach was too smooth to resist c) I promised myself that I would not turn down dates unless the guy was totally terrible

We had sex for the first time in his grandmothers house in Chinatown. We fucked with his hand over my mouth because we didn’t want to wake her. He had blonde hair and was completely insane. Three weeks later when we finally had a conversation I found out that he was a Ron Paul libertarian. Hell no. This is why I internet date. I could have found this out a while ago.




DJ DICK

Pros

-He's Tall. 6'7. I generally date short guys. I'm 5'9. This is a nice change. He kisses me on my forehead alot
and I like that. Also , being a foot taller he doesn't need to constantly assert his manhood and feel insecure.
I have no problems dating guys shorter then me but they usually do and thats no longer my problem

-He's smart-ish...at least on paper. Its nice to say that your boyfriend went to Darthmoth and Stanford. I went to an Ivy and
it can be intimidating...unless you're also dating someone from an Ivy. Thing is i'm generally not interested in the Ivy types. He's not an Ivy-type. He likes hip hop

-He likes hip hop
-I have a good time with him. Laid back. Romantic . sweet.

Cons
- I hate the hip hop he likes. He doesn’t like jazz and only likes party music. How shallow
- He’s cheap. He took me out for desert and paid in quarters
- He’s not very kinky ☹ He tries but its half hearted
- I suspect that he dates a lot and we only see each other once/twice a week. I’m all about taking it slow but I suspect that it’s a game for him

Speculative Dick

I don’t even know. I just like him. Not as tall as DJ Dick but still taller than my ex. He’s a drummer/guitarist in several soul funk bands as well as a beat maker and inSo I've recently been chastised because of my total lack of updating this blog?
Why?
'Cause I've been fucking too damned much!
Actually not really, but I recently had some of the best non-sex of my life.
Non-sex you say?

Yes. Non-sex, that evil little thing that we did otherwise known as dry hopping. No
far past the cherry popping virgin days when that was the only option people
either hump or they don't or do they?

Now that I've decided that I want to be in a relationship , dry humping is back
and Speculative Dick is its King.Speculative Dick is cute, smart, talented and
geeezus I'm losing my cool...I can't stop thinking about him.

cool. stay cool. ice cold

Why stress ? its just that I like him right?
WRONG
I'm dating like 5 other guys right now, you think they'd keep me busy no?
not when there's one you actually really like.

Here they are . A list of the guys I've dated in the past six monthsand you tell me if they're worth it


Assistant Dick

You were the first guy that I dated after my massive break up with J. One day I'll be able to revisit it and tell you guys in detail how he trampled my heart and ruined my ability to trust people. We walked from Washington Heights
to brooklyn, just taking pictures and talking. We met in the darkroom and I was the Teaching Assistant to your photo class.
Eventually you started assisting me on shoots and I thought you were so cute but I have way to much integrity to go there, but
wait, you 're not my student AND you're older than me (by two years).

the first time I finally saw your place and after a year and a half of flirting we finally kissed and it was bad but the sex
is some of the best I've had in a long time. Too bad that after a week of dating you freaked out and stopped talking to me.
I thought we were better than that. You have major intimacy issues and thats a fact, however for 5'6 you're really really strong.
That time we did it on the roof of your job was amazing. You still call me once in a while for photo advice and sometimes late night calls for other things....

totally worth it...

Socialist Dick

First guy i met from OKC that I started actually dating. I showed up to our first date an hour late and you almost left. I felt terrible but looked awesome. We dryhumped and made out like bandits for three weeks. I felt you up and found
quite underwhelming in the size dept but decided to stay anyway because you seemed like a sweet genuine guy. We finally finally had sex and it was decent. I hate to say it seemed like the only reason that you were such an attentive lover was because you were compensating for have a small dick; however he was adamantly soo anti-obama and right around election time, I couldn’t deal with that plus he was a socialist. Not a big deal right? My politics are left-wing progressive, however I never knew that the socialist party was a cult.

Generally I’m very wary of any time of organized religon or any type of group think. When people ask me my politics I say that I lean left and towards the truth. I’m deeply analytical by nature and am a truly independent thinker. I also came from a family of activists. That being said he was from the midwest from a right wing evagelical family. Being a socialist was his fuck you to them. Good for him but still wayyyyy to politically naïve for my tastes. We agreed on most things but he kept starting fights with me that were unnecessary. AND he had a tiny dick? No. Had to drop that.

CHINA DICK

I met him on the train. “No one on the corner has swagger like him” He looked like a member of the chinese gymnastics team. Generally I don’t talk to guys on the train but a) I couldn’t stop staring at him b) His approach was too smooth to resist c) I promised myself that I would not turn down dates unless the guy was totally terrible

We had sex for the first time in his grandmothers house in Chinatown. We fucked with his hand over my mouth because we didn’t want to wake her. He had blonde hair and was completely insane. Three weeks later when we finally had a conversation I found out that he was a Ron Paul libertarian. Hell no. This is why I internet date. I could have found this out a while ago.




DJ DICK

Pros

-He's Tall. 6'7. I generally date short guys. I'm 5'9. This is a nice change. He kisses me on my forehead alot
and I like that. Also , being a foot taller he doesn't need to constantly assert his manhood and feel insecure.
I have no problems dating guys shorter then me but they usually do and thats no longer my problem

-He's smart-ish...at least on paper. Its nice to say that your boyfriend went to Darthmoth and Stanford. I went to an Ivy and
it can be intimidating...unless you're also dating someone from an Ivy. Thing is i'm generally not interested in the Ivy types. He's not an Ivy-type. He likes hip hop

-He likes hip hop
-I have a good time with him. Laid back. Romantic . sweet.

Cons
- I hate the hip hop he likes. He doesn’t like jazz and only likes party music. How shallow
- He’s cheap. He took me out for desert and paid in quarters
- He’s not very kinky ☹ He tries but its half hearted
- I suspect that he dates a lot and we only see each other once/twice a week. I’m all about taking it slow but I suspect that it’s a game for him

Speculative Dick

I don’t even know. I just like him. Not as tall as DJ Dick but still taller than my ex. He’s a drummer/guitarist in several soul funk bands as well as a beat maker and indie producer. That’s all blah blah blah. First time we made out he scratched my back and I loved it. He’s super super super smart and wooed me with beautifully frank emails. He seems to have this great balance of self awareness mixed nice ness and honesty. I’ve known him a week, what do I know. All I know is that I felt butterflies for the first time in a looooong time. I don’t know how real it is and its causing me a lot of anxiety. I’m still feeling the sting of my last relationship so I’m trying my best to be cautious


And having some of the best non-sex of my life

die producer. That’s all blah blah blah. First time we made out he scratched my back and I loved it. He’s super super super smart and wooed me with beautifully frank emails. He seems to have this great balance of self awareness mixed nice ness and honesty. I’ve known him a week, what do I know. All I know is that I felt butterflies for the first time in a looooong time. I don’t know how real it is and its causing me a lot of anxiety. I’m still feeling the sting of my last relationship so I’m trying my best to be cautious


And having some of the best non-sex of my life